Buzzfeed chatted with Bartenders & Social Drinkers and Refinery 29 did research on signature drinks and we took the best of both to come up with our own list of what your cocktail says about you!
Does your cocktail accurately describe you? Do you know someone who fits their cocktail to a tee?
Absinthe– It’s for people who want to feel rebellious but are terrified of actually breaking any laws.
Beer drinkers- You are generally happy and a tad lucky. Things tend to work out for you. Sure, you have some regrets, but who doesn’t? You work hard, but don’t necessarily want to work that hard. You buy lottery tickets and contribute to your 401K.
Bloody Marys– Bloody Marys are for people who try too hard. ‘Look at me, I’m drinking vegetables
Brandy Alexander– You combine relaxation with decorum. You have a formal bathrobe. You prefer carpeting to hardwood floors. When you leave the house, it is in a high-end sweatsuit. People tend to believe that you have a connection to the mob.
Champagne drinkers- You stand on the outside of crowds and observe. People approach you to ask your permission for various things. You receive calls about moving large sums of money around, business you dispatch quickly and in a quiet voice.
Cosmos– If you order a Cosmo at a bar then you were underage when Sex & the City was your favorite show. (Does anyone order cosmos anymore? I feel like it’s very late ’90s.)
Gin & Tonic– You don’t have bar fights during a night of gin and tonics — you have bar disagreements.
Hennessy– it’s such an uncle drink.
Lemon Drop– You only drink when you dance. You only drink when you get dressed up. And, generally, you only drink on the weekends. Yet, when you drink — lookout, people — everyone better get on this party train or get out of the way.
You drink a Long Island iced tea when you just don’t give a you-know-what about anything. And you’re not afraid of going to jail.
Manhattans are for people who want to seem mature but still need the reassurance of a cherry on the bottom. (or- You have the soul of an old dude with barely-functioning taste buds.)
Margaritas are for people who all go ‘WOOOOOOOO’ at the same time, there’s a BIG difference between frozen margaritas and on the rocks margaritas, though.
Martinis are for people with good motor skills. That glass is too unwieldly.
Mimosas are for women who wear, have worn, or will wear sweater twinsets.
Mojitos are for people who feel guilty about not having had a salad for lunch. Because leaves.
Old Fashioneds – You used to self-identify as a traveler. You would say that contrary to appearances, you’re risk-averse. You’ve had the same hairstyle for a decade, and you still get compliments on it.
No one under 30 orders old fashioneds. They’re for grandpas who play card games.
Picklebacks are ordered by People with vintage bikes who have an obscure collection of Vietnamese folk music on vinyl.
Sazerac– You were the kid who wore a fedora or a feather boa to school. You carried a briefcase when you were 16.
Scotch drinkers- you’re refined, and accomplished.
Screwdrivers mark that down as special Mommy juice.
Wine drinkers, you drink alone and feel fabulous about it. You watch at least one Real Housewives franchise, either ironically or unironically… and, let’s be honest- Wine is great because even when you’re drinking a cheap wine you still look really classy.
Whiskey– You manage to somehow act fancy without trying too hard. You were voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in high school.