Nope not Reading ‘Riting and ‘Rithmatic.
Whining is pint-sized complaining. Parents should expect a little whining from their children, but constant whining can be very unpleasant to live with.
Young children whine when they’re upset, sick or tired — or when they simply want something. Children that chronically whine do so because it works! Whining is an annoying and unpleasant habit that often precedes a temper tantrum. To wind down the whining in your home, try using the “Three R’s” strategy.
The first R stands for RESIST overreacting. When your child first begins to whine or do what I call, “rumbling” about something, your first response should not be to complain, whine back or get upset at your child.
The second R stands for REPLACE whiny behavior. Once your child is calm and is able to show you they are willing to cooperate with you by taking a few deep breaths, have him or her immediately replace their whiny behavior with a calm clear request.
The third R stands for REINFORCE good behavior. After your child has stopped whining and has replace their complaining behavior with calm clear and a brief statement of what they want you to know, you should immediately reinforce them with praise. Too often, children receive a lot more attention for their rude, irritating and refusal behavior than for the positive things they do. Encouragement for good behavior will not only help increase their cooperation but will assist in reducing whining. So, use it!
If your child REFUSES to stop whining – even after you have attempted to use the “three R” strategy – then you can transition to:
1. Identify refusal behavior. Tell your child when he is refusing to cooperate. He may not be aware of his own behavior.
2. Ignore. Tell your child that you will not answer him or her until he or she stops whining and calms down. Refuse to respond until your child speaks to you in an acceptable tone of voice.
3. Use a consequence. Discipline your child by giving a reasonable consequence when he continues his whining behavior and all other efforts have failed.
The most important thing to remember with all of these strategies is to use them consistently. As you do, you should see your child’s whining decrease. More importantly, you are teaching him a positive way to appropriately ask for what he wants or to express negative feelings in a productive way as he grows older.