Sometimes babysitting can be difficult; you’re watching some random kids, they’re trying to take advantage of the rules and eat ice cream for dinner or plop down in front of the TV all night.
Sometimes you luck out and those are the actual rules, as outlined by one mom to her actual babysitter. That’s what happened here:
Just in case that’s hard to read, here are the actual guidelines from one mom who’s keeping it real!
1. I encourage the kids to watch as much TV as possible, so they leave me the hell alone. Feel free to do the same.
2. Don’t waste your valuable time cooking or providing healthy snacks. Just give them the pizza and snacks I leave.
3. They still breastfeed on demand. Just download a video on youtube. It’s not hard or I wouldn’t not do it.
4. Do not take any kittens/candy/ puppies from David. Or take a ride in his van.
5. If any of my neighbors come to the door, treat them like Jehovah’s Witness’s. Don’t lend them any eggs/milk/cigarettes. they know where the store is. And-no-, you don’t know want to babysit for them.
6. Let the kids have as much sugar as they want, as long as they will go away. They take pills to sleep anyway.
7. If you bring any boys over just make sure they have an uncle/dad/brother/friend that I can call later.
8. Don’t answer the house phone unless you feel like paying bills.
9. If you look through my drawers, please throw away any overdue bills and gum wrappers.
10. Do not believe ANYTHING the kids tell you.