Laurie Blog

Start a Real Convo on a Dating App

Woman's Hand Using A Smartphone To A Dating App. There Is A Hear

Saying “Hey” just isn’t cutting it.

How to start a real conversation on a dating app.

Open with a question

Pull inspiration from their profile

Play ‘this or that’

Another good opener that often gets a response is a simple “this or that” question, said OkCupid dating coach Damona Hoffman, host of the “Dates and Mates” podcast.

Avoid boring, dead-end questions

Be playful

Ignore traditional gender norms

Be authentic — it’s your superpower

Don’t downplay the things that make you you: your witty sense of humor, your breakfast burrito obsession or your passion for fostering dogs. Lean into these things, rather than trying to project what you think your match wants to see.

“The pressure to become a newer, improved version of yourself online is real, especially when we equate right swipes and matches with personal value,” Diaz said. “But authenticity is your superpower.”