OK, so this is the classic one right here. You’re sick. You’ve got a fever and you’re coughing a bit. Or you’ve got some sort of stomach bug that just won’t go away.

Regardless of what your debilitating illness is, you cannot get up from the bed. You wouldn’t want to risk getting your co-workers sick, would you? Of course not. And neither would your boss. That productivity is essential, baby. They are not going to ask you to work through it…hopefully. And they’re also not a doctor so they won’t come and check on you to see if you’re actually sick.

So yup. The sick card is probably your safest bet.

Alright, man. So, we’re lying, right? Like, we’re already in the wrong here. So doing more wrong can’t be that bad.

That is why you should not feel bad about telling your boss that you’ve got a sick family member somewhere around the house. Maybe it’s your mom. Maybe it’s your partner. Maybe it’s your dog. Maybe it’s your kid. All we know is somebody is sick and you — yes, you — are the only one who can possibly care for this sick individual today.

Now, of course, don’t make it a serious illness. That’s messed up. We’re lying, but we’re not evil.

The kid sickness and the pet sickness are always the most believable ones. They’re always eating something off the floor. I mean, if we’re being honest, they probably are really sick right now anyway.

Now if you don’t have a kid or a dog? I don’t really know what to tell you. Feel free to move on to the next excuse though.

So you were on your way into work, right. And then, BOOM. You don’t know what happened but there were just a bunch of red lights everywhere on the highway.

You can’t tell what’s going on. You tried to watch the news to figure it out but, as it turns out, the chopper just wasn’t on this one. Maybe there’s construction or something.

Regardless of the situation at hand, you are now stuck in traffic. For at least a couple of hours. So maybe you should just turn around and work from home? Sounds like a great idea to me.

No idea why my parents are choosing to move on a Wednesday, of all days, but here they are. Moving. Today.

And, you know, they’re kind of old. So you don’t want them moving all the heavy things in the house by themselves. What kind of child would you be to allow that to happen, right? And you love your parents. So you have no choice but to help them.

Your boss can probably relate to that. They’ll tell you to take all the time that you need…hopefully.

OK, so look. Your boss has been trying to build up the morale around the office for a while.

We’ve all been working from home for a minute anyway. Maybe you’re still working from home. Regardless, why not just have a mid-day happy hour with the crew? What are we doing today, anyway? Nothing. Exactly.

So you should just tell your boss that you’ve been speaking to everyone around the office and everyone needs a breather. So boom. There’s the breather. Congratulations. You’re welcome.

Honesty will surprise you in this scenario, y’all. I’m telling you. Because — remember — you are not the only one in the world who wants to watch these games. Like, billions of people do. Or at least that’s what it feels like, anyway.

So, honestly, 7 times out of 10, your boss is about to do the same thing. If your boss likes you and you like your boss, just keep it a buck. Say “yo, boss person. I’m finna watch these games today. Is that cool with you?”

And they’ll probably be like “you know what? Me too! You want to watch them in my office?”

At that moment is when you decide what sort of co-worker you want to be. Because y’all could just have a one-on-one meeting in the office and watch the games by yourselves or you could go back to lie number 5 and suggest an office party.

Order some wings from the spot down the block. Get a few bottles of juice. Get it popping in the office. You’ll have so many points with everyone in your office. They will love you. It’ll be great.

Just trust me on this one.

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