Being single doesn’t have to be a curse, maybe it’s even a blessing?
Here is what you can do:
1. Fill Up Your Calendar
After a breakup, you might experience some initial shock as a result of suddenly being on your own. A great way to cope with that uneasy feeling is to fill up your calendar, says Martinez. Texting your BFFs to schedule a Sunday brunch is always a good idea, but don’t be afraid to also reach out to folks outside of your immediate friend circle.
“Push yourself to call at least two to three people a week, people you haven’t spoken to in a while, and try to start up those connections again,” advises Martinez. “When you’re filling your calendar with speaking to new people, there’s a lot of interest and anticipation there. You also don’t necessarily have to speak with this person about the breakup you just went through if you don’t want to, because there are so many other things to catch up on.”
2. Focus On Your Mental Health
Other than filling up your calendar with friend dates, another way to combat negative emotions and care for your mental health after a breakup is by pursuing activities that make you feel good, such as exercise and therapy, says Dr. Franco.
3. Pursue Your Own Interests And Goals
Being single allows you to pursue interests and goals that would be harder to do if you had to consider a romantic partner, says Dr. Franco. Maybe you’ve always wanted to backpack across Europe, but weren’t able to because you had to consider your partner’s schedule. Now you can finally take that trip, solo!
4. Revisit Old Favorites And Create New Memories
Maybe you used to love going to your neighborhood diner because they had the absolute best buttermilk pancakes, and now you can’t even look at pancakes (let alone go back to that diner) because they remind you of your ex. Well, let me let you in on a little secret: Eventually you will be able to go back to that diner and savor those buttery soft pancakes, and you’ll create new memories with friends, family, and other people in your life.
“When you start creating new memories there, it kind of erases those hurtful memories,” says Martinez. “Redefine what that place means to you. It doesn’t have to be, ‘Oh the place that I went to with my ex,’ it can become something new for you. When it comes to grieving a relationship, a huge part of it is feeling like, ‘OK, I’m not that person anymore, so I can’t do those things,’ but eventually it gets to a point where you can.”
The bottom line is: It’s better to be single than to be in an unfulfilling relationship.
Rather than viewing singlehood as a lack of something, view it as an opportunity to pour love into yourself and better yourself for the next partner.
As Martinez says, “I think redefining what being single is and recognizing that it’s better to be single than to settle in a relationship will help you become more comfortable with it.” Because let’s be honest: You deserve better!