Grandparent Observations

My good friend Mel Nason took the time to send these along and they never fail to make me laugh.

1.  She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful  
eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.  After  
she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But  
Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably  
never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet  
paper good-bye...  (My mom did this every time she applied lipstick!  Tom)

2.  My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.  
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.  My grandson was quiet  
for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into  
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she  
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew  
thin..  Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into  
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left  
the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who  
was THAT?"

4.  A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own  
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing  
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard..  We rode our  
pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was  
wide-eyed, taking this all in.  At last she said, "I  wish I knew you  
sooner Grandma!!"

5.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you  
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said,  
"No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6.  A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word  
processor.  She told him she was writing a story..  "What's it about?"  
he asked.  "I don't know," she replied.  "I can't read.."

7.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I  
decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it  
was  She would tell me and was always correct.  It was fun for me, so I  
continued.  At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think  
you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

8.  When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the  
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects..  
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  Noticing them before I did,  
Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa.  Now the mosquitoes are coming  
after us with flashlights."

9.  When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm  
not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm  
4 to 6."

10.  A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,  
"Grandma, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today." The  
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool  
"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's easy,"  
replied the girl.  "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.."

11 Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a  
teacher.  The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder  
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him..  "Don't you  
know what pregnant means?" she asked.  "Yep," said the young boy  
confidently.  'It means carrying a child."

12.  A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one  
day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the  
fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the  
dog's duties.  "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.  
"No," said another.  "He's just for good luck."  A third child brought  
the argument to a close.” They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find  
the fire hydrants."

13.  A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.  "Oh," he said,  
"she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.  
Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the  
airport."

14.  Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!  He teaches me good things,  
but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15.  My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks,  
and they blame their dog.   (Remind me to get a dog!  ha ha ha!!)